We are Mommy’s Heart, Inc

There has been a shift in the way that custody is awarded in family court cases, moving away from a paradigm that automatically favored mothers due to growing recognition that fathers can also be primary caregivers and that both parents should have the opportunity to be actively involved in their children's lives.

However, it is important to note that this shift has not necessarily resulted in a decrease in the use of tactics, such as false allegations of abuse, neglect, or parental alienation, by abusers, who use the legal system as a way to continue controlling and harassing their victims, even after the relationship has ended.

Intimate partner violence affects 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men in the US, with over 10 million people experiencing physical abuse annually (CDC). More alarmingly, over 58,000 children a year are ordered into unsupervised contact with abusive parents after divorce. This estimate includes children who are left in the sole care of an abusive parent as well as those required to have unsupervised visits. Half a million US children endure this trauma, suffering physical and psychological harm that can take a lifetime to heal. This is not just a public health crisis—it is a human rights crisis, violating fundamental rights to safety, dignity, and freedom from abuse for these innocent victims.

Tragically, a child dies every six days due to custody disputes or family court failures. Since 2008, at least 944 children have been killed by a divorcing parent or parental figure (Center for Judicial Excellence). In 137 of those deaths, courts ignored warning signs, highlighting the urgent need for reform.

The court system, intended to provide justice and protection, is frequently exploited by abusers as a weapon to maintain control over their victims, particularly when children are involved. This "paper abuse" or "stalking by way of the courts" involves abusers filing frivolous lawsuits, repeatedly contesting protective orders, and manipulating custody battles, using the children as pawns, to harass and intimidate their former partners.

Survivors face significant challenges in navigating the complex legal system, often lacking the financial resources or legal expertise to adequately protect themselves and their children. Women often face a significant disadvantage in custody battles, as men typically earn more and can afford better legal representation. This inequity in legal resources is a key factor in why, each year, a staggering number of children are court-ordered to reside with an abusive parent. George Washington University Law School Professor Joan S. Meier's 2019 study, funded by the National Institute of Justice, reveals that mothers reporting abuse in family court, especially child abuse, risk losing custody to alleged abusers in approximately 30% to 50% of cases. Alarmingly, even in cases with proven abuse, courts still award custody to abusive fathers 13% of the time. These troubling statistics stem from systemic biases prioritizing paternal relationships, frequent misapplication of parental alienation theories that discredit mothers' protective actions, judges underestimating domestic violence risks, and a pervasive tendency to disbelieve women reporting abuse. These combined factors create a justice system that often fails to protect vulnerable mothers and children from abusive situations.

The weaponization of the legal system by abusers has devastating consequences for children, both immediate and long-lasting. Judges who ignore evidence of violence have forced children to live with abusive parents, resulting in tragic deaths and severe trauma. This abuse and systemic failure can lead to lifelong consequences for survivors, including:

·       Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

·       Substance abuse and addiction

·       Criminal behavior in adolescence or adulthood

·       Severe depression and suicidal ideation

·       Difficulty forming healthy relationships

·       Chronic health issues

It is important for domestic abuse survivors to have access to resources and support to help them navigate the family court system and protect themselves and their children from further abuse.

We have secured the commitment from attorneys who have the knowledge and capability in custody matters involving intimate partner violence, child abuse and neglect, financial and legal abuse, and interference with parental rights, to volunteer their time to assist those in need. While our attorneys are highly experienced and educated, they are donating their time and services at no charge or at a fraction of their normal rate so that our organization can remain committed to ensuring no parent ever receives a bill from us for the services we provide.

As breaking free from family court shackles can be an uphill battle, our team of mental health experts, including licensed social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists, as well as holistic practitioners, are available to provide our parents with talk therapy, medication management, emotional support, advocacy, education, therapeutic retreat opportunities, support groups, and other individual and group therapy services and activities. For our children, we provide age-appropriate therapeutic opportunities, such as play therapy, field trips, athletics, art workshops, and more. 

What Sets Us Apart

This Foundation was established by a mother facing the same challenges our organization is addressing. Her journey through the very broken family court system inspired her to help other parents experiencing similar nightmares and work toward impactful reform. Our focus is to protect the parental rights of fit parents and combat the weaponization of the court system by abusers at the expense of innocent children. We are operated by a team of parents, medical and mental health experts, and legal representatives and mentors, who have garnered specialized knowledge, experience, and wisdom from navigating a hostile family court system and have pooled their resources to help other parents from ever having to fear the loss of a child to an abuser.

Read More on the Problems Within the Family Court System

The Meaning Behind Mommy's Heart

The name, Mommy’s Heart, denotes a very personal and significant meaning. When it was time to choose a name for our organization, Mommy’s Heart immediately came to mind. After my daughter and I had been separated and our visits were relegated to one hour skype video chats during the pandemic, it was very difficult for my daughter, who was 3 at the time, to say good-bye once our time together came to a close. In an effort to maintain a sense of continuity, reassurance, comfort, and stability, I cut out a heart from a piece of yellow felt and virtually “gave” my daughter what I referred to as “mommy’s heart”. I said to her, as she was pleading for me not to leave, that as long as she holds on to mommy’s heart extra tight and keeps it in a very safe place, I will always be with her even if sometimes she cannot see me. At the beginning and end of every subsequent skype visit, my daughter would proudly show me “mommy’s heart”, which she kept in her very safe place.

We understand the process, because we have lived it. We know the pain of losing a child, and we will fight assiduously for each and every one of our children.